yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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