therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
