Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
