12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
