You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i need some magic done to my vagina
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
