ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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