I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
