I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
