dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
