that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
