And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
