it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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