Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
