OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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