i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
