Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
