Fine. I'll sleep in my office
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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