just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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