oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
