Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
