I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
