Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
