Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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