Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
