did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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