I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
