you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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