I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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