He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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