I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
