I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
