ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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