Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
