she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
