Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
