I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
