He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize
