like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
