just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
