Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
operation have a gay friend backfired
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
