Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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