you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
