yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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