I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
