my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
