Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
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