Got a toothbrush?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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