it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
