my phone cant type all the emotion im having
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
