Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Randomize
