My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
