i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
