I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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