if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
